It took her voting for Trump for him to quit communicating with her.  Nearly three years of tearing my heart out wouldn't do it.  They were 'friends' he said.  A 'friend' who he lied to me about for a year, lied to her for even longer.  A 'friend' he professed his love for.  A 'friend'.

I guess I am supposed to be happy that it is over but I am not.  A part of my love for him died with every phone bill.  I would see the hundreds of texts, the hours of phone conversation each month.  Friends.  I don't know if there is any love left after all this time.  He had to know that I knew.  I pay the bills.  I saw the 'facts' every month - not the lies about old friends he was talking to, old friends he was going to go and visit. Not the lies about what he was spending so much money on.  Every month with every bill I would see it.  Initially it made me cry - big, gut wrenching sobs.  Then it would just bring tears to my eyes and after a while, it just made me shake my head.  I would be sad but even the sadness was not strong any more.

Because the betrayal had been too deep.  It had cut so deeply into my heart and my brain that it destroyed the love.  Shredded it to little pieces that I doubt can ever be made whole again.

And I don't know if I ever want to try to heal it.